HARD LESSONS ON LEADERSHIP
by Josimar Salum
About 12 years ago, I learned several vital lessons about leadership and how we build relationships.
In 2004, I met Apostle John Kelly, who became a father and mentor to me. During the few times I met with him over the years, I learned significant, often difficult, lessons from him. I will share some of them here.
1. I had to end relationships that exploited my generosity and open heart. I let go of people for whom I made unlimited efforts to help, whether I could or not. I always wanted to serve everyone, but I found that I was harming myself and my family. I realized this was neither biblical nor healthy.
Referring to a group of these Christian leaders, Father John Kelly told me one afternoon, "These people will drive you crazy."
2. I let many people get very close to me, always acting with integrity, honesty, and loyalty, especially in financial matters. John Kelly said, "They want what you can give them. They never have trusted you.” One by one, I realized they always placed me under suspicion and questioned my integrity. It hurt deeply, but I said, "Enough."
3. I learned to differentiate relationships. This didn't mean ending my relationships with those people or treating them harshly. Definitely not. But I decided to stop being "Father Abraham" to them, as my mother sometimes called me. I discovered in practical ways what my father used to say: "Josimar, my son, I belong to those who love me." It was a practical piece of advice. Jesus himself once said, "Whoever does not gather with me scatters." And I said, "Enough."
4. I learned from John Kelly to give up on "church" without stopping loving people or the Bride of the Lamb. What consumes my energy without benefiting the Kingdom is not worthy of my time.
5. I learned from him to celebrate only those who love, respect, and honor me, and to stay free from many leeches, some for the rest of my life. This lesson was particularly harsh because I realized we can build friendships and partnerships with the wrong people. From this, I realized there are many different levels of relationships in leadership: casual greetings, friendship, partnership, brotherhood, and alliance or covenant. Some people you may only have lunch with, while very few are worth going to war with.
Finally, after learning all this and putting it into practice, instead of celebrating my ministerial achievements and promising ministry results, I gave up.
I gave up on myself. I gave up on trying my best to satisfy the desires of my flesh. Many things I thought were spiritual were actually carnal. I gave up experiencing so much fear and living frustrated with myself for not reaching the "divine standard" I had set. The more I reached, the higher the standard grew. This is very frustrating. I began to experience the Grace of God that I loved to sing about but had never fully experienced.
I gave up! I gave up everything! I gave up fighting against my flesh and against sin. No one who fought sin overcame it. Now I fully embrace the Grace of God that delivers me from all sins.
I was in a spiral of “to-do lists” that never helped achieve anything. I was forced to do many things to receive things from God and gain His approval. That is awful. They were all fleshly practices and pathetic endeavors. The only thing that matters is embracing who God is transforming me to be, to become a being of freedom.
For a long time, I wanted to share these lessons and the mysteries of the Kingdom with everyone. But the Spirit within me caused me to say and act upon these words: "My hour has not yet come. Be quiet."
However, at the beginning of 2010, after a trip to India to proclaim and teach the Gospel of the Kingdom to pastors and missionaries, upon returning to Massachusetts, the Holy Spirit told me to share the teachings wisely. I decided to open my heart a little to the pastors. What I experienced was a huge resistance.
But God continued to open doors, and I silently began to reach thousands of people with the Gospel, especially making disciples for Jesus. I was at last raising leaders and discipling them. I have opened my heart and taught the Word in such a way that I will continue to freely preach the Gospel of my King, who became a servant to die for me. If they rejected Him, they will certainly reject me.
I will walk loving and serving my brothers, always responding to anyone who wants to know the Hope that is in me: JESUS CHRIST ALONE, MY GLORY.
#ASONE
