Mentoring for Kingdom Purposes

By Bill Niconson & Josimar Salum

Why mentoring?


Mentoring is needed today on many levels.

Young married couples need to be mentored by older couples. Entrepreneurs need to be mentored by those who have been successful in business. Young men need to be mentored by older experienced men and young women need to be mentored by older spiritually mature women.

Mentoring provides accountability, stability, allows and encourages spiritual and emotional maturity.

It knits together community which increases the over health of that community.

When mentoring is properly done everyone benefits.

Mentoring is biblical. Moses mentored Aaron, Elijah mentored Elijah, David mentored Jonathan, Jesus mentored His apostles, and Paul mentored Timothy and so on.

Mentoring, apprentices, discipleship probably all overlap each other in terms of definition.

Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron so one friend sharpens another.”



What is mentoring?

Mentoring is a biblically based model of discipleship.

“Jesus went up on a mountainside and called to him those he wanted, and they came to him. He appointed twelve—designating them apostles—that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach and to have authority to drive out demons.” (Mark 3:13-14 NIV).

It’s a journey to transform a person.

“As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. “Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." (Mark 1:15-17)

It’s a sharing of experiences in all levels that help a person transforms.

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:1-2)

It’s an exchange of conversations, thoughts, processes and prayers designed to help a person mature and move into leadership to the point that they begin mentoring others.

Jesus makes us disciples to make other disciples. It is intergenerational. It’s reproducible. Therefore to Jesus view point anyone can become a disciple to lead someone else to become a disciple. It is a conscious understanding of a true disciple of Jesus the desire to mentor others to become Jesus disciples.

It usually involves someone who has demonstrated the ability to lead with respect and has been asked by someone of lesser experience to learn from, in order to further God’s kingdom.




Key Components

1 - Obedience

One of the keys to being a good mentor is that it is usually something you don’t seek. It seeks you.

Why? Because a true mentor is humble and understands their position before God. They see themselves as fortunate, blessed and loved by God and humbled just to be serving Him

“The following day he arrived in Caesarea. Cornelius was expecting them and had called together his relatives and close friends. As Peter entered the house, Cornelius met him and fell at his feet in reverence. But Peter made him get up. "Stand up," he said, "I am only a man myself." Talking with him, Peter went inside and found a large gathering of people.” (Acts 10:24-27).

One of the greatest blessings that can be bestowed on a Christ follower is that they be asked to be a mentor to someone.

Before someone can actually be a mentor they have to have a Christ experience. You have to know Jesus Christ as your personal Savior and Lord. Jesus can never do anything through you unless He has done something in you. You can not lead someone in Christ if you were not led. You can not lead someone if you are not following Jesus as His disciple.

It’s impossible to be a mentor unless you learn to be a follower.

Obedience in following the Lord is a dominant characteristic in a Christ’s follower.

”The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.” (II Corinthians 10:4-6)

“Only he who believes is obedient and only he who is obedient believes.” (Dietrich Bonheoffer)

It is a very dangerous thing to put people into a relationship with another person who has never demonstrated humility and obedience in following Jesus.

A “servant like” heart is needed in order for a mentor to be effective.

This person thinks about the other people that God places in his/her heart.

They move from being self-centered to becoming “other-centered”.

“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” (Gal. 5:24-25)


2 - Discipline

A mentor must have the personal discipline to live a balanced life. Now it’s not to say that I mean we are “perfect” or we live like a “perfect”.

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:12-14 NIV)

But there needs to be evidence in the mentor’s life that there is always improvement! Our lives should always be moving forward to the life that Jesus has called us to.

A disciplined life means that we fit our lives naturally into God’s will all the time, honestly knowing this will be done as much as possible. However we will not let anything interfere or remove us from following God because if we do it means that we are out of balance.

"Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything” (I Cor. 6:12 NIV).

3 - Character

A mentor will be a person of character. This means that he or she will have exhibited to others the fruits of the spirit and a mind that is focused on Christ.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” (Gal. 5:22-23 NIV).

This person will be thought of as a holy person or spiritual person and is respected by their peers (Acts 6).

Character is the person you are when no one is looking. A person of character blesses God, themselves and others. They aren’t selfish.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than your selves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)

Paul goes on to say how we, all saints of God, and in our case who are mentors should live.

“Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not mean and cling to his rights as God. He made himself nothing; he took the humble position of a slave and appeared in human form. And in human form he obediently humbled himself even further by dying a criminal’s death on a cross.” (Philippians 2:5-8.)

This is exemplary of the person who has great character. A mentor most likely has a mentor as well. This is a person who is completely self-aware.

4 - Self-awareness

Because of our sinful nature is still part of our being how wicked our hearts can be! Being self-aware is acknowledging that we need help in our own lives because of our sinfulness.

You can think that your life is good and that everything is ok. That is not only the case. We can and do deceive ourselves. This is why mentoring is important, to have someone to speak into our lives, someone we can be accountable for through a relationship free of any controlling, manipulation and oppression.

5 - Accountability

Mentoring also provides a means for accountability. Just as Jesus held His disciples accountable we must do so as well.

The one flaw with accountability is that it is only as good as the integrity of the individual. I know that sounds contradictory but it’s true. You will only be accountable as you CHOOSE to be. I can’t make you no one can make you.

That is the reason trust is a vital factor in the mentor relationship. We will only share our thoughts, problems, victories and triumphs to people we trust.

I suggest that in order to be successful in a mentorship process a covenant agreement should be made between the two mentoring parties, the mentor and the mentoree. This agreement should include transparency, accountability, meeting times, confidentiality and a prayer covenant. This paves the way for Mutual respect.

6 - Mutual Respect

A mentor never control or dominate the life of the one he or she is mentoring.

Abusive models of what many have called “discipleship” have caused more damaged to people than helping them.

The mentor based on biblical principles never makes decisions, never interferes with directions and never demands exclusive submission or total obedience to the people he or she mentors.

It must be understood clearly that we “make disciples” for Jesus. The disciples are not ours, but the Lord’s.

“The next day John was again with two of his disciples. He saw Jesus walking by. John said, "Look! The Lamb of God!" The two disciples heard him say this. So they followed Jesus.” (John 1:35-37)

The mentor is not superior to the one is mentored. Nor is the mentored superior to the mentor. Both parties will learn from each other.

A true servant of Jesus Christ knows that it’s by the grace of God that they are who they are, a human being who was once enslaved by sin and now being transformed by the Holy Spirit. A true child of God no matter how new they are in that relationship have begun to live and experience the transforming power of Jesus Christ.

We are all on a path towards transformation which means that no one is superior to the other. God is performing that work in all of us. “I am sure that the One who began a good work in you will carry it on until it is completed. That will be on the day Christ Jesus returns.” (Philippians 1:6 NIV)

A mentor should be willing to open up completely to the person that they are mentoring. Any question is “NOT” off limits.

A full transparent relationship is required in order for the mentoring relationship to move forward. Authenticity matters. It’s one way and a significant way that the world knows we are who we say we are.

7 - Self denial and Sacrifice

“Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple.

And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.'

Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace.

In the same way, any of you who do not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:25-33)

Jesus appointed areas of self denial you and I will follow through when becoming His disciples.

It will affect our values and priorities in life.

Jesus Christ becomes the exclusive source of our trust, loyalty and learning resources.

Jesus Christ becomes the ultimate reason for living for or dying for.

Jesus becomes the exclusive dedication of our lives no matter what we loose or give up

The self denial and sacrifices of the mentor and the mentoree relationship is towards Jesus Christ and not to themselves. Because mentors and the ones they mentor are all equal disciples of Jesus Christ.

It is Jesus who places His priorities in our lives. Fathers, mothers, husbands, wives, children, brothers and sisters have theirs places already on Jesus’ list. Whoever prioritizes ministry over family had become worse than the unbelievers.

“If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (I Timothy 5:8)




Finally, mentoring requires patience, perseverance and grace.

Patience is required to be able to deal with everything on the way including with the dynamics of discipleship as it deals with living people, unforeseen events, life facts and unprecedented happenings in a real world.

Transformation is a process that requires a lot of time to be completed. It produces consequences as immediate results of changes that you and nobody basically did not want to go through. People around you will not always react positively to the changes you are experiencing.

Perseverance is required for both mentor and mentoree in order to finish the mentorship process until the mentoree is able to mentor others in this transformational life process of making disciples of Jesus. We are all being transformed to be like Him.

“Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.” (II Timothy 2:10)

“Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering.

Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated.

You sympathized with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions.

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in just a very little while, He who is coming will come and will not delay.

But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him."

But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.” (Hebrew 10:32-38)

Mentoring requires Grace and God will gives us more Grace as we humble ourselves acknowledging that we can’t be faithful without His Spirit, we can’t transform ourselves or anybody else unless He does and that we are only His partner in the greatest business of Heaven on Earth which is transforming people like you and me into the Image of Jesus Christ.

“But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." (James 4:6)